Not a sob story... Not even close to one..:)

I recently chanced upon a blog that had some sad and heart breaking stuff in it. As usual, the blog was by a guy who got rejected by a girl. An interesting thing about that blog was how the guy thought that the girl missed a god given chance of having him... The guy even went on to say stuff which hinted, "am not sure if she will get someone as good as me"...These statements to me seemed egoistic. But that was not the point I wanted make...

This blog that I read was no doubt one sided as most blogs always are. Well written to the point of me doubting that the girl was really unfortunate for not having that guy! But the fact is, I know both of them. And that’s why I know that the blog was one sided. This particular blog made me realize that, my blog would end up like just another sob story of a person with humongous self pity. No question of it being another one sided blog.!

But that blog made me curious and I spoke to few friends of mine to understand what do guys really want. In that conversation, there was a revelation of a life time: I might end up not marrying as most of the guys are nut cases, that don’t appreciate what you are. I don’t mind not marrying, but I do mind ending up with a nutcase. Not that I would even bat my eye lids twice before deciding to leave such a nutcase even if am conned into marrying such a scum bag...

But since I decided not to indulge in a sob story, I thought I'd rather get to the heart of the matter. Heart of the matter being some signs that one must be well aware of. These are the signs right before there is a breakup. And why must you allow the nutcase to end it? Dump the nutcase yourself even before he/she gets a chance to do it. Yes, "he/she".. You see, I know majority of the guys are nutcases, but you can never rule out the possibility of such nutcases among girls as well. After all, we are human. 

(I must admit, that I have friends who are guys, who are really amazing and far off from being nutcases..and at the same time know of some girls who are innately disposed towards idiocy)

Along with what you must watch out for, I have also mentioned interesting ways to get rid of such people. My passion is Astrophysics. So I have used my passion to imagine interesting ways of kicking out scum bags out of one's life. :)... The little devil in me is back in kick-ass business!!

Well, here it goes...

With astrophysics and rocket engineering you can discover 1001 exciting ways to get rid of jackasses from your life. Better to get rid of no good better halves that try to get the better of you. Lets just call these no good better halves : NBH. 

Disclaimer: I know that most of the following can be achieved only if you are affluent. In case you cannot afford to implement the below, don’t lose heart. Astrophysics and rocket engineering principles are limitless. We can find smarter, cheaper and more efficient ways of getting rid of cheapos.

1	If your NBH checks out guys/girls at other tables when you are @ a restaurant, Its time to gear up with the basics of rocket science, baby!!	Lets see.. Next time you are on an aircraft in flight, push this so called partner of yours, outside the craft with a parachute bag that contains the NBH's laundry.. :D.. Its a bad landing and a happy ending..
2	When in public, if your partner smiles and talks to you, but never actually looks at you (just wants to keep smiling since they think they look good when they smile) Time to put your rocket science knowledge into action.	hmmm, for this you can have a separate cabin built on top of the rocket boosters for your partner (and have them sit there for the next take off, don’t forget to have them sit during the lift off... :D ). If you cannot afford to build a cockpit on the boosters, just tie them to it. It’s more or less the same.
3	If your partner always talks about themselves and never really listens to you. And the only time you get to talk is when he/she has food in their mouth, lets see..	How about sending this A-Hole to the centre of a massive gigantic black hole? So that they can never come back again... ever... even by mistake...
4	If your partner starts gaping at beautiful guys/girls around and keeps praising their beauty when you are with that NBH, its time for another get rid session....	Take the hint babe and leave this scum bag for not admiring you and what you stand for. So let’s see, for this kind of attitude we can have such a NBH tied to the wheels (landing gear) of the space shuttle.
5	If they acted broad minded at first and then start showing their true colors when they realize you are into them, then don’t even consider such scum for forgiveness	Such B's must be tied to the nozzle of a space craft on reentry and this is no exaggeration of any punishment.
6	If your partner thinks that his/her family includes just their parents, their spouse (you) and that’s it, (does not consider your parents/family as an extension of his/her family) never forgive him.	No physics required. It’s better to let such people rot alone.
7	If your partner says that they loved you for what you are but start finding faults with the way you are, when they get to know you are into them. Or if your partner said that they loved you or liked you initially and then, when you are into them says “my like for you has faded as our interests don’t match”... (you know opposites do attract!!)	I think you can have your partner in a magnetized suit, and place them in comet’s path. Researchers have found that there were Iron-rich particles in Comet Halley’s dust. So the magnetic suit might be useful in helping your partner stay with any comet once the comet and your NBH have had contact. Traveling with the comet, you partner might seem less icy and cold in comparison...
8	If your partner after a month of dating says you are boring and get their cousins or friends along on your date…	Forget the re-entry part, just push them out of the space shuttle and leave them in orbit. Maybe spinning around in orbit might tighten the screws at the side of their namesake heads.

You know, if your parents and siblings (and other relatives) support you, you can find courage to even fight the devil king single handed.

A piece of advice, don’t marry just to start a family. Marry because you want to start a family with the one whom you are getting married too. There’s a difference. If you are able to get it, then it is good to go ahead. Else it’s not for you to settle down. And even if it takes a million yrs for you to understand the difference, understand it and then think about marrying someone.

In search of a (any) sensible guy....(GREEN MAN-CHRONICES continued..)

After nearly 7 months of digging into the journals of the little green man, interestingly we found references to a female form of the little green man. For the sake of simplicity we wish to call the females of the alien race  "Little green women". The scientific term for "Little green women" has been declared by "Who knows Who We are (WWW)" Corp and Mallya Inc, as "Parvus Greeno sapiens pulcher intellegens formosa es wo-hominum" ahem... and FYI, the scientifc name for the "Little green men" is "Parvus Greeno hominum ".

We owe these findings to our accidental discovery of the Little green man's personal journals in which he has, ummm... well how best can we say this, expressed his love to his female companion/(s). This also gave us insight into the alien practices and their various emotions. If we are not wrong, the little green man seems to have been having an extra-marital affair with another little green chick!!!

The rationale for our above deductions is that, the "little green man" had 2 journals... <cough cough>... One in which he expresses that he misses his family and is pretty decently worded, <cough>... and the other one which was to his "other one" which is not so decently worded <more coughs>...

More so, we have another strong evidence about the green man having some extra marital adventure, that is, the picture on the cover of each of those journals are of different little green women. We also concluded that just like men on earth, the little green men fall for green chicks with beauty and lesser intellectual capacity than the green man himself and repent after getting committed to them.

All these above findings have been declared as classified by the authorities in and around the vicinity of Area51. So please be cautious as to whom you discuss these things with. We still don't know what was the social status or the little green man's position in his world. We do not want a inter-planetary war just cause the little green man's infidelity was made public in an alien world... ahem... 

If you happen to see any little green people, act friendly and behave normally, just as you would have done before knowing about that little green man's affairs. What we mean to say is, don't act too friendly with the green men, just cause they are so much alike Earth men regarding marriage (having extra marital affairs) and falling for the wrong babes.

There is a lot of other dark truth that we need to uncover about the nature of the little green man who visited earth. No wonder he mentioned that he could not remove his light sensors off the human females!!! (In case you have missed Part1 of this research, please make sure you read through the following : http://mallyas-corner.blogspot.com/2010/08/in-search-of-any-sensible-guygreen-man.html . ) And now we realize why he kept saying that his visit was short but stayed for over a year on Earth... Guess he just dint wanna go back home to his family (wife).

We also feel, that the survey he took about the Earth men must have had ulterior motives. We got the hint that the Green men themselves are ranked as the ones with lowest sense and sensibility in the universe and that they were desperately trying to find some male form of any species in the galaxy, that has lower levels of sense and sensibility than themselves. We have enough proof that the "Little green man" thinks that the men of earth are morons (lack sense and sensibility).

Based on our findings and the excerpts from the little green man's journals, NASA is commissioning a galactic wide search mission. The mission is to search for intellectual life forms that lack sense and sensibility (are more pathetic) in comparison to the men on Earth.

(This is why we say men lack sense. Why cant they just try and be better beings than spending millions of dollars and searching this vast space for beings more pathetic than themselves.)

The following are the excerpts from his journal which indicate that the green man got what he wanted... someone more idiotic than himself...

"Hurray!! Men on earth lack nay have no clue of what is sensibility. I will be well rewarded by the men in my race for making this discovery and saving us all from this shame of being a green man...And my *other one* will see me as a hero and agree to have a extra marital affair with me..."

So you see one more thing in common with Earth men and the green men is fantasizing. They dream about things and people that they cannot have. So you see, the "other journal" was just his fantasy. Must admit that his ability to fantasize was awesome and the detail to which he explains,... ahem... For the sake of universal audience, we end this blog here.

So until next time, a warm goodbye from Who knows Who We are (WWW)" Corp and Mallya Inc..






**A graveling scoop : Some of the authorities in and around the vicinity of Areas51 have admitted to directly comming in contact with one of the green chicks that accompanied the little green man on his short survey of this planet. (we are still wondering what these authorities meant by direct contact....hmmm..) ;)

The Mkey Ghat (IT Diaries)... Based on a true Story.

From left to right .... Blue85   Pink 85  Blue86

The Mkey Ghat! (IT Diaries). 
Based on a true Story.

Screenplay         :  Shailaja Mallya
Female Actor     :  Shailaja Mallya    as   Pink85
Male Characters:  Bubbles_M       as   Blue85

                             Pat_V              as   Blue86
Direction            : Into the future!!!

**PS:  IT is not read as "it" nor is it expanded as "Income Tax" ... Its Information Technology. :) Please don't embarrass yourself reading it or pronouncing it the wrong way.... 

Scene1 : Year 2007.

3 Mkeys meet on July 14th 2007 @ EGL on the 6th floor of a huge huge glass building. Pink85 arrives nearly 2 hrs late as she got lost in the concrete jungle. Pink85 meets blue86 for the first time, she had already met blue85 during the induction program in a 5 star hotel. (Which had raised her hopes about the company she was to work in).

Scene2 : year 2008.

The team leader of the team the 3 Mkeys worked for leaves and a new guy comes from Austin (Indian guy who had been onsite) to replace him. The 3 Mkeys are devastated as they were very close to the current T-Leader and respected him a lot. The 3 MKeys over a cup of coffee think this is the end of their team.

Scene3: year 2009.

The new team leader and blue86 get along very well. Because of which pink85 and blue85 also became chimps with the T-leader... ahem.. sorry... chums chums...became chums with the T-leader.

Scene4: year 2009-2010.

Blue85 leaves the team for a better team in the same company. Pink85 is sad. Blue86 has other plans for himself of leaving company etc... Pink85 is further devastated. All her buddies with whom she spent the first 3 yrs of her IT life are moving in different directions... Pink85 is as lost as she was during her first day...

Scene5: year 2010.

Blue86 goes to a new company. T-leader and pink85 are left behind in the team. T-leader and pink85 become good chums. Now T-leader moves to different city in the same company. But pink85 had made up her mind not to lose it when friends move away. She had told herself that if she really wants to remain friends then she can, she just had to take some time off and meet them :). So no worries. There is always sunshine :).

Scene6: year 2011.

Pink85 makes new Mkey friends knowing very well that she will be hurt when they move away. But that is life. And pink85 had now become very mature and made up her mind not to feel bad at such things. It's sad not to see them around, but there are always ways to keep in touch with the ones you cherish.

Scene7: year 2012.

Pink85 plans to move on with her life and meet the Mkey of her dreams. And so do blue85 and blue86. One day all of them plan to meet. E-mails, sms, and calls are made for the re-union. On the day of the re-union....

                                                            ** THE END**

Thats it!! If Amir Khan can end his "Ghat" story abruptlty so can I... :D...





PS: For the benefit of people who don't get the last statement, Amir Khan (an Indian Actor cum Producer) recently  producer a movie called "Dhobi Ghat : Mumbai Dairies" (Dhobi is a person whose profession is washing clothes, and Ghat is equivalent to an elevated Area. So kind of, an Elevated Area where the Dhobi washes clothes.). The movie was basically a snapshot of the lives of a few people in a place that is called "Dhobi Ghat" in Mumbai and it had a very abrupt ending. So my blog is my story but is also kind of mocking Amir Khan's movie as every scene in it ends abruptly . :)